


Cultural differences.

by ArtyMissK



Category: The Hobbit All Media Types
Genre: Bouncy castles, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humour, ImaginexHobbit, gen - Freeform, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-20 07:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2419838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtyMissK/pseuds/ArtyMissK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader insert, with plenty of cultural misunderstandings.</p><p>1.) Of bouncy castles and cultural differences (Kili x reader)<br/>2.) Differences in dress (Kili x reader x Fili)<br/>3.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of bouncy castles and cultural differences.

**Author's Note:**

> Standard disclosures apply, I own neither the Hobbit or LOTR. ☹ (Well except a rather nerdy collection of the books and movies!)
> 
> Inspired by the imaginexhobbit submission ‘Imagine setting up a bouncy castle and going crazy on it with the company dwarves.’

It was perfect, you’d been in touch with your uncle Bilbo and he’d promised to arrange transport of the very special present you wanted to get Kili for his upcoming birthday. You had travelled to reclaim Erebor with your uncle and a loony bunch of rag-tag dwarves on a mad expedition to reclaim a pest filled mountain, of course once the so-called ‘pest’ had been dealt with and the now named ‘Battle of the five armies’ had been won, you stayed in Erebor with your dwarves even as your uncle returned to Bag End although you did exchange letters as often as possible considering the distance.

As it was you were now face to face with your present for Kili, it had caused a bit of a stir when it arrived and one or two members of the company had wondered after it’s use but that was to remain a secret until Kili’s birthday. Once it was delivered to the companies private hall, you found that uncle Bilbo had sent you a list of directions on how to put it together and assured you that it was a castle by design, now all that you needed to do was assemble it.

Ok so trying to keep it a total secret didn’t work, you tried to inflate the damned thing on your own but it just wasn’t happening so you had no choice but to enlist the help of Dwalin and Dori, you couldn’t risk asking Fili because he’d tell Kili without hesitation and Nori was keeping guard outside. Neither of them seemed to understand what the point of your gift was and you repeated “Its called a Boun-cee and its for fun” more times than necessary, but eventually they seemed to at least take your word for it. Finally with your surprize inflated and Kili’s birthday in the morning you were certain it was perfect.

~

“What is it?” is all the prince can find him self able to say when faced with what appeared to be an inflated castle.

“Its your birthday present of course, don’t you like it?” you ask in return, secretly hoping not to repeat the same conversation you’d had with Dwalin and Dori the day before.

“Its not that I don’t like it,” he paused experimentally prodding the Boun-cee “just that I don’t know what it is.”

Sighing you step in front of the gathering, which includes most of the company plus immediate family and find yourself explaining the contraption behind you “Its called a Boun-cee and as this one is based on a castle that means its called a Boun-cee-castle, we have them in The Shire.” …when you pause for breath nothing but silence and blank faces greet you.

“So it’s some sort of hobbit present?” Fili asks,

“Yes, exactly!”

“You got yourself a present for Kili’s birthday?” he continues

“What? No I got Kili a Boun-cee for his birthday!” blank stares meet you (again!) nervously you ask “This is another one of those awkward cultural differences isn’t it?”

Balin is as ever the first to regain his wits “Yes, but don’t worry lass, it’s the thought that counts.”

Sitting on the front edge of the Boun-cee with your head in your hands you sigh “Well aren’t you going to at least try it?”

“Aye lass, but that depends on what it does!” remarks Bofur from somewhere to your right.

“You jump on it, its supposed to be fun!” you reply.

“Fun?” Kili asks incredulously.

“Yep, you do remember what that is don’t you?” you smile from beneath your hands, “Look, take your shoes and coat off, and do what I do.” Stepping onto the Boun-cee you start jumping and bouncing off the walls, never in the history of Middle Earth has it taken anyone so long to remove their shoes.

Slowing to a standstill you ask “Are none of you even brave enough to try?” that does the trick! Bofur, Fili, the birthday boy and surprisingly Ori jump on first and it doesn’t take long before they’ve got the hang of it, over the next few hours more or less everyone present has a go except Thorin, no matter how much goading he got from two certain princes, but Nori and Bofur certainly made up for it.

~

After hours of bouncing delight with only yourself and Kili left, you bounce over to him and loop your arms around his neck “See, I told you it was fun.”

“Yeah, not bad for a hobbit present.”

“You know in the shire these things have another use too.”


	2. Differences in Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dwarves see you in a dress for the first time during their stay in Rivendell, they do really, really try to compliment you (honest!) but that isn’t how it initially comes across.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by two imaginexhobbit submissions ‘Imagine Kili seeing you in a nice dress for the first time/Fili and Kili trying to compliment you but accidentally insulting you.’

Rivendell it has three things you love - hot water, clean clothes and good wine. Currently most of your attention is on the first of these three, following the incident with the trolls and then the days run from wargs.

The bath was heavenly, a shade less than scolding and filled with delicious oils the she-elf that brought you to the bath house was wonderful taking your trolls-filth encrusted clothes without fear and promising to return with something clean for you to wear, you were going to be scrubbed raw before you were clean and just hoped the others wouldn’t disturb you, because as much as you love your new found family, they could be a tad too full on at times. 

Sinking deeper into the water you take the time to wash your hair, its gross, matted and might need to be cut but at least it will be clean. As you neared the end of your bath your lovely she-elf returns with a beautiful dark blue silk dress, probably for a child, but being a small human it fit quite well, besides it had been an age since you’d worn a dress and never one this fine. Joining your companions for dinner would certainly be interesting.

~

“Lass, there you are!” shouts Bofur. “C’mon then, give us a twirl!” you twirl on the spot, your dress flaring out around you.

“You look lovely.” remarks Bilbo.

“Yeah,” interrupts Kili “it shows off your hips, makes ‘em look big!” stopping you dead in your tracks.

“Your right brother, it does!” agrees Fili, while the others make noises of approval.

“You think I look fat?”

“Not fat, buxom.” replays Nori, giving you the eye.

“Yeah, yer big hips and yer…” Bofur looks to your chest “well those look pretty big too.”  
Hoot and whistles sounds from most of the younger members of your company, Bilbo looks flustered, but then he usually does and a few of the elves look slightly disgusted, but that might be because of the dwarves in general.

Close to tears you just manage to hold it together, “Come and sit with me.” calls Bilbo.

Walking past the dwarves you hear Fili mumble “She’s got a mighty fine arse too!”

“Actually, I don’t think I’m that hungry anymore.” is all you say before bolting for your room. Sure you’re curvier than the elf maids, but you thought you looked quite pretty and this being the first time the dwarves had seen you in a dress, you thought (without being vain) that they would think you looked nice.

“Was it something we said?” Kili voices to no one in particular.

“You called her fat.” answers Bilbo pushing food around his plate.

“No! we called her beautiful.” shouts ring out from various dwarves around the table.

“You called her fat, which is why she ran.” 

“I’m going to apologise.” is all Kili says before bolting after you.

“Hold on…wait…Kili…I’m coming too!” calls Fili before moving to follow his brother.

Knocking on your door the brave princes wait patiently for you to come out. “Please, it’s a mistake.” Kili says softly.

“Yeah lass, we were calling you beautiful.” interrupts Fili.

“Please don’t mess with me.” you say opening the door just enough to see them.

“Lassie, to us darrow there’s nothing more beautiful than a curvaceous woman,” continues Fili.

“Yeah and you’ve definitely nice extra bits to look at.” says Kili a blush dusting his cheeks.

“Oh!” you say blushing as understanding hits you “I guess I might have overreacted, men aren’t usually attracted to women with extra bits.”

“Aye lass,” starts Kili

“It’s a cultural difference.” continues Fili.

“You’re beautiful.” they say in unison before walking you back to dinner.

~


End file.
